


Bro...That's Gay

by endermanlovebot



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, No Angst, bad ending? as in it's not a real ending?, idiots to lovers, idk man read it feed me kudos or die by my sword, kris is the dumbest man alive, luhan is mostly a plot device but hey shoutout to luhan, maybe future smut, no angst cause i am a loving god, not a very defined ending my apologies, rating may change if i ever write the smut, still technically incomplete but hey, tao is all knowing and gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 07:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19763092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endermanlovebot/pseuds/endermanlovebot
Summary: Kris makes a friend. Well, really, Tao acquires Kris as a friend through the power of badassery and cold brew. Also, he likes Kris, and isn't subtle about it. Kris has no idea.





	Bro...That's Gay

**Author's Note:**

> for kai. happy birthday.

Kris wasn’t the type to notice guys, but the guy currently kicking more ass than Kris thought possible was definitely noticeable. Primarily for the ass-kicking, but also for the fact that he was definitely the guy who was always in front of Kris in the coffee line. Which was a shame, cause the ass-kicking was really cool, but the coffee that he got every morning that took ten minutes to make was distinctly not cool. Like, just order ahead on the app and don’t make everyone else wait to order their plain black coffee. Ass.

Ultimately, the ass-kicking won out, and Kris found himself approaching the strange guy’s table, coffee in hand, heart in throat because Kris was a perpetually awkward person and how are you supposed to casually tell a guy “hey you were really cool when you were beating those people up” and not seem weird?

“Hey, you were really cool when you were beating those people up.”

Dammit. Okay, that was definitely weird. Nice going, Kris, you fool.

The guy looked up at him, slightly confused. “Um, thank you?”

“You go to the same gym as me, right?”

The guy blinked up at him. “Um, maybe? Care to be more specific?”

Dammit, you awkward bitch. “Sorry. SM, right?”

“...yeah, why?”

“I saw you there yesterday beating people up. I see you there every day, but I haven’t seen you doing cool martial arts stuff before. Not that I’m watching you or anything! I just saw you and you were doing cool stuff.” Kris rushed to explain himself, trying to ignore how he was definitely babbling and probably looked like an idiot. 

“Oh!” The guy laughed. “I see. Thanks!”

A beat passed in silence, and Kris realized that he should probably stop standing at the guy’s table. He turned to leave, saw that the shop had filled up in the time he’d been talking and there was now nowhere to sit. Great.

He turned back, trying his best to look apologetic. “Sorry, I promise I didn’t have this planned, but can I sit there?” He pointed to the chair across from the other man. “There’s nowhere to sit.”

“Yeah, sure. Be my guest.” Kris nodded gratefully and sat down. 

“I’m Tao, by the way. You?”

“Kris. With a K.”

“Nice to meet you, Kris with a K.” Tao replied, a trace of amusement sparkling in his eyes. Kris stuttered out something resembling a reply and immediately took a large sip of too-hot coffee to cover up his awkwardness. He couldn’t tell if it worked, because his mouth really hurt, ow, and it was taking all of his energy not to spit out the coffee and swear a lot. Tao, clearly fighting the urge to laugh, took a sip of his own drink.

“See, this is why you should drink iced coffee instead of hot coffee. You can drink it as fast as you want.”

“I don’t like iced coffee.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I’m sorry!” Kris replied automatically. “Sorry! I just...don’t like iced coffee. It’s too sweet.”

Tao made a disgusted face, remarkably offended given that it was, well, just coffee. “Too sweet?” He repeated, dumbfounded. “You know you can get not-sweet coffee, right? It doesn’t have to be sweet. Haven’t you ever heard of cold brew?”

“Yes.” Kris said defensively, lying through his teeth. He hadn’t heard of cold brew, but admitting that would make him look stupid, and he’d already said yes so he wasn’t going to back down now.

“And you still prefer hot coffee?” Tao asked, looking insulted. Kris nodded. Tao shook his head. “Heathen. Disgusting.” Kris spluttered defensively. It wasn’t his fault he liked hot coffee! There wasn’t anything wrong with hot coffee! He just wanted to drink his scalding bitter bean juice in peace. He took a sip, found it had gone slightly cold for his taste, and made a face. Tao picked up on it immediately, and pointed an accusing finger at the coffee cup.

“See! That’s exactly why you drink iced coffee. It doesn’t change temperatures. It’s always perfect.” He smiled, resting his chin on his hand. “Like me! Delicious, sweet, perfect.” Kris snorted, then immediately regretted it because Tao’s eyes lit up in a dangerous sort of way.

“And your coffee is exactly like you.” Tao continued, eyes gleaming. “Hot, bitter-”

“I’m not bitter!” Kris protested. “You’ve known me for five minutes, and you think I’m bitter? Isn’t that a little presumptuous?”

Tao raised an eyebrow. “You’re the guy who complains under his breath about how my coffee order is needlessly complicated every time I order.”

Busted. 

“I don’t-it’s not _every_ time.” Kris protested weakly. “It’s just...most times.”

“Mm.” Tao replied, thoroughly unimpressed. Kris didn’t like that. Not that he was an impressive person, or that people were generally impressed by him, but he didn’t like that this Tao person seemed to know exactly how to make Kris feel stupid. Kris didn’t like feeling stupid. Did anyone? Probably not.

~~~

Kris hadn’t realized how often he saw Tao until after their first conversation at the cafe.

They went to the same cafe in the morning, and worked out at the same gym in the evenings. Kris was a little surprised to see that Tao worked out every day, and was even more surprised to discover that Tao kicked ass _a lot_. Like, a lot a lot. Kris just did normal gym things, like run and suffer excessively after leg day and try to avoid getting hit on. Tao didn’t seem to have quite the same problem with strangers trying to talk to them, but that was probably because he looked like he could kill a man with a glance and because he spent a lot of his gym time beating the ever-loving hell out of various punching bags.

A normal person might’ve struck up a conversation or two with Tao, given that they saw each other so much. But Kris was not a normal person; he was 6 feet 2 inches of awkwardness topped off with very aggressive eyebrows. Instead, he spent his gym time agonizing over whether or not he should be talking to Tao more, and is it okay to sit at the same table as him? What if he just started going to the cafe earlier, so he could pick a table first and then Tao could decide whether or not to sit with him? That’d be good, then he wouldn’t have to wait for Tao’s needlessly complicated coffee order. Of course, he’d never once beaten Tao to the cafe, and was it really worth waking up earlier to avoid some awkwardness? 

“Hey.”

“Ah!” Kris yelped, jumping. Tao was behind him, lips twitching upwards in amusement as he took in Kris’ reaction.

“You okay?”

“I didn’t notice you.” Kris grumbled, annoyed at being caught off-guard. 

“Well, clearly.” Tao replied. “Didn’t think you’d usually yelp and jump a foot when people try to talk to you.” Kris opened his mouth to retort, but Tao cut him off. “I just wanted to stop by, say hello, see how you were doing.”

“I’m good, I’m good, how are you?” Kris asked, hoping he didn’t sound too nervous. He was bad at small talk. Also conversations. Life was hard.

“I’m good.” Tao said, grinning. Okay, he definitely noticed that Kris was nervous, fuck. None of this was going well.

“Did you, uh, need something?” Kris asked. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be looking at Tao or not, and it didn’t help that Tao was actually almost as tall as him, so if he looked at Tao, he’d actually be _looking at Tao_ instead of staring at the top of someone’s head like he usually was.

“Nope. Just saying hello. I’ll leave you alone now.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Kris replied automatically. Tao raised an eyebrow. “I mean, you’re not bothering me! You don’t have to leave.” Kris rushed to explain. “Unless you have something you have to get back to. Then you can leave. Or, if you’re done with the conversation. You can also leave then.”

Wow, okay, way to look like a complete idiot, Kris. Please, continuing expositing all the reasons someone can leave a conversation. 

“Well, when you put it that way, how can I leave?” Kris could hear the amusement in Tao’s voice, but Tao didn’t seem like the type to laugh at him in a mean way, so he let it go. Also, Tao could definitely kick his ass, so Kris wasn’t going to confront him if he could avoid it.

“Oh, I almost forgot to mention, you’re welcome to sit with me in the morning, if you like.” Tao said. “I don’t mind the company. Only if you want to, of course. No pressure.”

_Friend...ship?_

“No! No, yeah, that’s cool! That’d be good! Thank you.” Kris stumbled over his words, trying to form the correct response. “Yes, I would like that. That would be good, thank you for the offer.” Okay, that was way too formal, but Tao wasn’t laughing at him! Sure, he definitely looked amused, but he wasn’t laughing!

“I’m glad to hear it. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

~~~

“I brought you coffee.”

Kris lifted his head off the table, squinting against the bright light of the cafe. Oh, right. It was morning. He had to go to work.

“Thanks.” He mumbled groggily, grabbing the cup and taking a sip. He winced. Ow, that was hot, and way too sweet.

“Careful. It’s hot.”

“Thanks.” Kris grumbled, glaring at Tao. The look didn’t have any real malice behind it, because it wasn’t that a big a deal and also because he was really fucking tired and Tao was a godsend. Kris glanced at the label, trying to see what Tao had ruined his perfectly good black coffee with.

“ _Khris?_ ”

“What?” Tao said, taking a sip of his coffee. “You said Kris with a K, didn’t you?” He smirked, raising an eyebrow in a way that made Kris’ stomach feel funny. Or maybe that was all the sugar in the coffee. 

“Yeah, but-” Kris stopped, sighing. Okay, technically Tao was right, but who the fuck spelled “Kris with a K” as “Khris”? Tao, apparently, but literally no one else ever because that was wrong.

“But what, Kris?” Tao asked, playing with his straw. Seeing Tao’s tongue running over his straw definitely did not bring any thoughts to mind at all. What were thoughts? Kris had never had those. There was a moment of silence a beat too long, and it definitely was not because Kris was staring at Tao’s mouth and having any sort of thoughts because Kris didn’t have thoughts!

“What’d you put in this anyway?” Kris asked, changing the subject. 

Tao shrugged. “I don’t know. Sugar, creamer, six shots of caramel, maybe some milk?”

Kris gaped at him, torn between disgust and amazement. “ _How_ many shots of caramel?”

“Six.” Tao said, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards in amusement.

“That’s fucking- _why?_ ”

“Because caramel is delicious. Also because I couldn’t bring myself to order black coffee. They know me here. My reputation would be destroyed.”

“So, what, you’d rather destroy my tastebuds?”

“Tell you what.” Tao said, leaning across the table. “There’s a fancy coffee place one of my friends keeps telling me about. You can try cold brew and be indoctrinated into the world of iced coffee, and in return, I will pay for your indoctrination.”

“Fine, but only if you promise to never give me coffee with this much nonsense in it. I really appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to drink this.”

“Fair enough. Not everyone has good taste.”

“You spelled my name K-H-R-I-S. I don’t think you can talk about taste.” Kris retorted. 

“You said “Kris with a K”. You didn’t say “Kris with a K and without an H.”” Tao replied, taking a sip of his coffee. Okay, fair point, but again, no one had ever spelled it “Khris” before! Did Tao exist to make Kris’ life difficult? Probably, but he’d also brought him caffeine and offered to buy him fancy coffee, so that balanced things out. 

~~~

2 o’clock on Saturday rolled around, and Kris was tentatively excited. Tao was nice-well, no, he teased Kris a lot, but it wasn’t done in a mean-spirited way, so that counted as being nice-and Kris liked hanging out with him. Kris wasn’t a particularly outgoing person, and the fact that Tao was willing to not only hang out with him, but invite him out places, was pretty cool.

Nope, just kidding. Tao drove a hot-pink punchbuggy, and Kris would not been seen in public with that.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have a choice, because Tao had already agreed to drive him and pay for his coffee, and that was nice of him. Moreover, Kris didn’t know where they were going. He took a deep breath, reminded himself that Tao was being a gracious, accommodating person, and folded himself into the car. Why did Tao have a bug anyway? He was tall too!

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Pleasantries concluded, they sat in silence. Tao drove, bitching at other drivers for mild offenses like not using their turn signal and once for trying to merge directly into Tao’s car. In the other driver’s defense, Tao was in their blind spot, but come on that’s basic drivers ed stuff. Check before you merge, fools. 

Now, bitching at other drivers Kris understood. Swearing, rude gestures, creative insults? Hell yeah! But Tao...Tao took it to another level.

“Eat my _entire_ ass, you useless fuck! You are worse than hole-punchers that don’t work for more than five sheets! You are an embarrassment to your entire family and your mother wishes she didn’t bear any resemblance to you because then she could look in the mirror without feeling shame!”

Damn. That last one hurt, and Kris wasn’t even on the receiving end of it.

Luckily for the other drivers, Tao kept his windows mercifully raised, so the insults were only for Tao’s ears. And Kris’, since he was also in the car, but the principle was the same. Insults were for the occupants, not for the other drivers, because if Tao said half of those things to another human being he’d probably get shot.

Thankfully, they arrived at the coffee place, a charming little shop called Xiuweet Drinks, without being shot. Tao opened Kris’ door for him and then held the door to the shop, which made Kris blush, because no one had ever done that for him before and it felt nice it was sweet okay! Tao even pulled out a chair for him, which made him blush harder and this was getting ridiculous, Tao was buying him coffee and holding things for him and Kris was very flustered.

“How do we order?” Kris asked, nervously wiping his palms on his jeans. He’d already sat down, was that wrong? Weren’t you supposed to order before sitting? Curse fancy coffee places and their fancy “rules” and “etiquette”. He was completely out of his element here.

“Don’t worry about that.” Tao said, smirking. “I said I’d get you coffee, didn’t I? You just sit here and look pretty and I’ll go get us our drinks.”

Dammit, now Kris was even more flustered. Tao vanished to get drinks, leaving Kris to sit and wonder what the best way to look pretty was. Was he supposed to pose or something? No, posing would be stupid, don’t be stupid. Just sit there and look pretty. Not hard at all. Simple. What the fuck was he supposed to be doing?

Luckily for Kris’ limited ability to figure out subtext, Tao returned fairly quickly, two iced coffees in hand. He put one down in front of Kris, and slid into the seat across from him. Kris stared at the coffee uncertainly. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Tao, it’s just...that he didn’t trust Tao. Last time the man bought him coffee it was disgusting and overly sweet, so he had a right to be cautious. Tao noticed his hesitation and rolled his eyes.

“Relax, it’s not sweet. It’s just cold brew.” He paused. “Coffee. It’s just plain coffee, but cold. Drink it.”

Kris drank it.

It was good! Strong, bitter, cold. The temperature took some getting used to, because he was used to having his coffee hot, but it was nice. And, best of all, it didn’t have an obscene and quite frankly disgusting amount of sugar and caramel in it. 

“I like it.” Kris said, nodding approvingly. “It’s good.” He took another sip, wincing. “I have to be careful, though. I don’t want to get a brainfreeze.”

Tao stared at him, at a complete loss for words. “You...never cease to amaze me.” He said finally, shaking his head.

“Thank you.”

Tao sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It wasn’t really a compliment, but you know what, you’re welcome.”

Kris sat back, offended. “Why wouldn’t it be a compliment? You said I never cease to amaze you!”

“Yeah, with the depths of your stupidity! Who the fuck worries about getting brainfreeze from fucking coffee?”

“Me.” Kris mumbled, slightly hurt. It was a valid concern! It was a cold drink and it was tasty and he wanted to drink it quickly, sue him. 

“Yeah, and no one else! God, you’re lucky you’re so hot.”

“Well, no one else spells my name “Khris”, so I guess we’re both just unique that way.” Kris retorted triumphantly. 

Tao sighed. “How was that your only takeaway from what I just said? You know what, it doesn’t matter, don’t worry about it. You like your coffee and that’s good. Have I successfully converted you to iced coffee?”

Kris shrugged. “Maybe. It’s good, but I think I still prefer hot coffee.”

“Disgusting. Heathen.” Tao hissed, eyes narrowing. “I take you here, buy, you coffee, and this is the thanks I get? Shameful.”

“No! No, I am very grateful. You have all my thanks.” Kris stuttered, immediately flustered. 

“I’m just kidding, babe.”

“Oh thank god.” Kris breathed, putting a hand over his heart. “Don’t scare me like that! I don’t want to be rude. I want you to like me.”

“Is that so?” Tao asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“Oh. Good! I’m glad!” Kris said enthusiastically. “Cause you’re great, and I’m not good with people.”

Tao closed his eyes for a moment, briefly wearing a very long-suffering look. “You’re great too, Kris.”

~~~

Not to brag, but Kris got hit on a lot.

Or so he was told.

Truth be told, he wasn’t the most observant person, and if he had a nickel for every time one of his friends had hit him on the shoulder and said, “Dude, they were totally hitting on you!” he’d be a very rich man. Which was impressive, because it was very hard to become rich solely from nickels. It was also impressive because you’d think at some point Kris would figure out when people were flirting with him, but he never did. It wasn’t his fault he was a generally unobservant person who didn’t have a good understanding of romantic intentions.

But, for all his general cluelessness, at least he was aware that he was clueless! He knew he was stupid, and that had to count for something, right?

Apparently not, because according to Tao, that pretty girl who’d been trying to drag Kris into conversation for the past five minutes had definitely been hitting on him and wasn’t just very interested in the time and weather.

“She was definitely hitting on you.”

Kris frowned, looking over at the girl, who was now talking to her friend. “I don’t think so. She just asked about the time and some other stuff, and now she’s over there.”

“She literally just left to go ask her friend if it’s worth asking you out. You are the most clueless man alive.”

“No she didn’t!” Kris protested. “There’s no way you can know that. You’re assuming too much.”

Tao rolled his eyes. “I am not. You’re just an idiot.” He looked back at the girl in question, who was talking to her friend, their heads close together. Kris frowned. Okay, maybe she could be talking about him, but it wasn’t very likely. If there was anyone worth commenting on at the gym, it’d be Tao. He did martial arts, he was tall, he was handsome, and he was certainly worth talking about. See, Kris could be observant too! He knew Tao was cool! That was worth something, hopefully.

“Oh, look. She’s coming back over to ask you out.” Tao said drily, turning back to his punching bag. “Enjoy your platonic time with a non-romantic interest.”

“I will, thank you, because this is completely not romantic.” Kris retorted. The girl was walking back towards him, and there was definitely a possibility that Tao was right but Kris wasn’t going to back down now. At some point, the combination of cluelessness and stubbornness was going to get him killed, but today was not that day. Hopefully.

“Hey, I know you didn’t really seem super interested, and this might be really awkward, but would you like to get dinner with me tonight?”

Well, fuck.

“Uh,” Kris said, panicking. “Um. Thank you, that is very nice. I, uh-” He glanced over at Tao, who was resolutely pretending to ignore the conversation. Today was Thursday, and he usually got dinner with Tao and played video games until far too late on Thursdays. “I have plans tonight.” He looked back at the girl, trying to school his expression into something resembling sympathy. “Sorry, nothing personal.”

The girl’s eyes darted between Tao and Kris, then widened. “Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-no offense taken. I didn’t realize.” She walked away, maybe a little faster than absolutely necessary, and Kris went back to being confused. Okay, she was hitting on him, but now there’s something...she didn’t realize? What? 

“She thinks we’re dating, Kris.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Well, you did look over at me before saying you had plans, implying that your plans are with me, and you didn’t offer to make plans with her another night, making it clear you weren’t interested in her. She’s very pretty, so a very plausible explanation for your lack of interest would be that you’re gay, and that we, as a collective, are gay.”

“But we’re not. Gay.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“You’re gay?”

“Oh my _god_ , you are truly the most clueless man to have ever lived. Please tell me you’re just extremely unobservant and not that I actually seem straight.”

“Hey.” Kris grumbled, mildly offended. How was he supposed to notice stuff like that, anyway? It wasn’t like he had gaydar or anything. He’s straight.

“If you weren’t so unobservant, you might’ve also noticed she was hitting on you before I told you. She literally called you “男神”. Like, a god among men, the epitome of male perfection. Do you get that a lot?”

“...yeah.”

“Oh my god, you disgust me.”

“What? Why?” Kris protested, fully offended now.

Tao sighed, shaking his head. “You’re just…” He trailed off, looking at Kris in a way that felt far too personal. You know, like in _The Office_ , how Jim stared at Pam before they were together? Kinda like that. Kris didn’t know how to feel about it. He was used to people calling him hot and saying they wanted to sleep with him, not with people he actually was close to looking at him with something dangerously close to genuine affection in their eyes. 

“You’re just very...naive.” Tao finished, turning away from Kris. The moment was gone, and thank god for that because Kris was terrified of genuine feelings and also very very stupid and probably would’ve done something dumb like ask Tao if he wanted to kiss-

Where did that come from? Okay, that will be addressed at a later date, possibly with lots of alcohol, possibly never, whichever worked!

~~~

The later date arose, as they had a tendency to do, and luckily, it included lots of alcohol.

Luhan was an excellent person to talk to. He was a good listener, exclaimed at the right times, and most importantly for Kris’ purposes, he was gay, and therefore an excellent person to talk to about Tao.

Except, unfortunately for Kris’ purposes, Luhan was slightly drunk and completely in love with some boy, who he had been talking about for the past hour.

“He’s just...so _hot_.” Luhan whined for approximately the eight millionth time, staring sadly into his glass. Kris made a sympathetic noise, patting Luhan’s shoulder. Luhan had a tendency to fall in love with every boy who was decently attractive and smiled at him once, and Kris had gotten used to dealing with the drunken rants about how perfect their wedding could’ve been if only Luhan had asked for his number.

Luhan peered blearily up at Kris. “You’re quiet tonight. What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes already filling with tears. Oh no. Horny Luhan he could handle, but Sad Horny Luhan was something he could not. Hopefully, the knowledge that Kris was also dealing with a Hot Guy would snap Luhan out of his drunken sadness.

“There’s this guy-”

“OH MY GOD!” Luhan shrieked. “A guy! Kris, why didn’t you say anything? You’ve never talked about a guy before! Tell me everything.”

Success! Sad Horny Luhan averted!

“His name’s Tao, he’s a few years younger than me, he’s tall and does martial arts and teaches dance.”

Luhan waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, get to the good stuff. Is he hot?”

“Yeah.” Kris said quietly. Yeah, Tao was hot. Really hot. Like, stupid hot. And he had an ass, something Kris did not possess and wished he had.

“Wow...you’ve never called a guy hot before.” Luhan said, clearly impressed. “What’s got Tao on your mind?”

“I think-I mean, I haven’t thought about it a lot, but I think...I maybe, might, possibly, slightly, like him.”

“OH MY GOD!” Luhan shrieked, and he really needed to stop doing that or they were going to get kicked out of the bar. “Kris, you like him? Like, _like_ him?”

“Maybe.” Kris mumbled, his face heating up. “It’s not that big of a deal! I just, I dunno, he’s really funny and nice and cool and we hang out a lot and I think maybe I have feelings that aren’t platonic. Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Luhan repeated, pursing his lips. “Tell me how you feel about him, and I’ll tell you whether or not I think it’s gay.”

Kris sighed. “Most times, when people compliment me, I want to sink through the floor so that they can never do it again. I don’t like getting hit on, I don’t really seek people out to talk to, and I don’t meet up with friends that often. Except for you,” He added, poking Luhan, “Because where would I be without the constant drama in your life?” He paused, trying to form words correctly. Words were so hard, feelings were the worst, fuck existence thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

“I like when Tao compliments me. It’s still awkward, but I don’t want to sink through the floor. I like when he says I’m good at something, I like when he says I’m handsome, and I always tell him that he’s handsome too. I feel like you’re going to hit me and say that he’s been flirting with me all along and that I’m an idiot, and I agree, but I don’t care if it’s platonic or not because it feels comfortable and not like some stranger is trying to get in my pants. We hang out every Thursday, usually to order pizza and play video games or watch movies, and I look forward to it every week. I think...that maybe, there is a slight possibility, that I do not feel only platonic things towards him.”

“Bro...that’s gay.” Luhan whispered reverently.

Kris smacked his shoulder lightly. “Hey.”

“It is gay!” Luhan insisted. “You like him, and you know what you have to do now, don’t you?”

“Repress my feelings and never think about them again?”

Luhan smacked his shoulder, significantly harder than Kris had hit him. “No, you dumbass, you tell him how you feel. It’ll be fine, I promise.”

Kris paled. “What?”

Luhan rolled his eyes, disgusted. “You tell you how you feel. You hang out on Thursdays, right? Just tell him you like him. It’ll be fine. I believe in you.”

~~~

“These aren’t realistic at all.” Tao grumbled, throwing his controller down on the couch. Kris shrugged, unable to wipe the wide grin from his face.

“I don’t know, they seem pretty realistic to me.”

Tao gave him a withering look. “Oh, really? You think you could kick my ass in under thirty seconds?”

“Hell yeah.” 

“Alright.” Tao stood up, gesturing for Kris to do the same. “Let’s see it then.”

Kris stood, waiting awkwardly for instruction. Tao noticed his hesitation and snorted. “You planning on kicking my ass by standing there?”

Kris scowled. “Fine.” He moved forward, raising a hand with the vague intention of hitting Tao. There was a flurry of movement, a flash of sharp pain, and a dull thud as he hit the ground.

“Ow, shit, fuck.” He groaned, his voice a little muffled. Tao had him facedown, one hand twisting Kris’ arm behind his back, the other tangled in Kris’ hair to press his head to the floor.

“Mm. Consider my ass _thoroughly_ kicked.” Tao sighed, sounding terribly pleased with himself. 

“Lemme up.” Kris grumbled in response, feigning anger. Tao sighed, shifting slightly, and Kris was suddenly acutely aware that Tao was on top of him right now. Hmm. Interesting! 

Tao eased off of him, and Kris quickly turned around, propping himself up on his arms. He started to sit up, but Tao settled back down on top of him, and yep, he looked just as pleased as he’d sounded. Tao pushed him down a little, and Kris let him, easing his weight off of his arms until they were hovering awkwardly at his sides. Tao was really on top of him right now, wow, how did that happen?

“I don’t know what to do with my hands.” Kris said, his voice cracking slightly. When did his throat get so dry? Another mystery. 

Tao smirked, making him look even more like the cat who had gotten the cream. “What would you like to do with them?” He purred, looking down at Kris in a way that made him feel funny. 

“Uh.” Kris said. “Whatever you want me to do with them.”

“Good answer.”

It may have been a good answer, but it wasn’t an entirely honest one. Kris didn’t know what he wanted to do with his hands, and once he started thinking about it, it took him down a very dangerous path very quickly and he really, _really_ didn’t want to get turned on touching about Tao when Tao was on top of him and so very available to touch.

Tao was holding Kris’ wrists, amusing himself by making Kris’ hands flop back and forth. It was cute, and Kris kind of felt like a marionette, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Tao was up to no good.

For once, Kris turned out to be perceptive, because Tao put Kris’ hands around his waist, pressing down on them to encourage Kris to spread his fingers and truly hold Tao.

“Is that okay?” Tao asked, worry lacing his voice. Kris nodded.

“Yeah, this is fine. This is good.”

There was a beat of silence, wherein Kris absentmindedly traced his thumbs along the outline of Tao’s hips, silently wondering how skinny Tao had to be for his hipbones to be feelable ( _Tangible? Audible?_ ) through his shirt. It’s probably because he worked out so much. God, Tao was hot. And nice. And he made Kris happy, even though Tao spent 80% of their time together mocking Kris.

“I like you.” Kris blurted out.

“Okay.”

Kris blinked. “You’re not surprised?”

Tao shrugged. “Not really. You’re not very subtle.”

Kris pouted, slightly hurt. He’d thought he was at least not blatantly obvious, especially since he’d only realized he liked Tao about a week or two ago. 

There was a beat of silence, then Kris realized Tao hadn’t really said anything in response.

“Do you, uh, do you like me?”

“Yeah, duh. I thought I made that pretty obvious.”

“You did?”

Tao stared at him with a mix of fascination and disgust. “I called you hot in literally the first conversation we ever had.” Kris opened his mouth, then closed it again. Shit, had he really?

Tao groaned. “God, please tell me you noticed that.”

“...no.”

“Why do I like you you’re so fucking stupid Jesus Christ.”

“Be nice to me.” Kris complained, squeezing Tao in retaliation. Tao rolled his eyes, but it was an affectionate eye-roll rather than his usual long-suffering one.

“So, now that we’ve established mutual affection, I’ll ask again. What would you like to do with your hands?” Tao asked, eyes sparkling dangerously. Kris swallowed hard, trying to make sense of the images that flooded his mind.

“Um. I think-I think my previous answer still stands. I’m good with anything. I just...I want to-” He stopped, painfully aware of the heat rushing to his cheeks. “Please just do something, I am very okay with everything and if I am not I will stop you.”

“Hmm.” Tao tapped his chin lightly, looking down at Kris. “No, I think you should tell me exactly what you want, in detail.”

Oh, fuck.

Kris pouted, hoping to gain some sympathy from Tao. Tao stared down at him, offering none. Fuck. Tao was really going to make him talk about his feelings? Bastard.

“I would like to kiss you, and do the things normally related to sex.”

“There was literally no way you could have phrased that in a more awkward way.”

“I’m bad with words! You know this! This is your fault!” Kris protested, wishing he could angrily cross his arms. Well, he could, but that’d mean taking his hands off of Tao’s hips, and there was no way he was going to do that.

“That’s fair. I do know that you’re terrible with words.”

“I said bad, not terrible. Why are you so mean to me?” 

“I can’t help it. You’re cute when you’re getting teased. Now, sit up so I can kiss you. I’m not bending down, I’ll hurt my back.”

Half of Kris’ brain helpfully supplied him with _hey, first time someone’s ever had to bend down to kiss me!_ The other half tripped into gear and tried its best to sit up without removing his hands from Tao’s hips. Keeping his hands firmly in place was a priority here. 

“Aww, you’d think someone who works out so much would be able to do one little sit-up.” Tao murmured, tracing a hand down Kris’ stomach. Kris yelped, surprised, and immediately tried to cover it up with a scowl.

“I can do a sit-up.”

“Congrats! I’m so proud.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey friends go read kai's stuff they're sheepjimin everything they write is sad and good. i wrote something happy with no angst instead. be grateful.  
> technically this fic isn't done, but im not sure if im gonna get that smut done in a reasonable time so have this instead for the time being. also, listen to cool love it's a bop i still prefer coke though sorry :/  
> feed me validation and ill feed you content.


End file.
